Birthday Cake: 30 things I learned by 30

Two years ago when I first started this blog, I was just turning 28-years-old. One of my first few posts included an entry titled "28 Lessons I've Learned in my 20s."

Today as I enter a completely new decade, the BIG 3-0, I decided to revamp that entry and provide a listicle of 30 things I've learned by 30 - because who knew you could gain so much more wisdom in just two years.

These lessons are based on my personal experiences, but I'm sure these can be applied to anyone's life.

1. The Sun can't shine in the shade, a Bird can't fly in a cage - Never allow people to keep you boxed in based on their version of you. You can't grow that way.

2. Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation - Just because you forgive someone or vice versa, doesn't mean it'll go back to the way that it once was, and that's ok.

3. What's meant for you will always make room for you - It doesn't matter if five million people are in the same field as you, if you're great at what you do, it's a passion and you work at it long enough, space will be available for you regardless. Your sauce is a completely different recipe. They aren't you and you aren't them.

4. Authenticity is one of the highest truths we can spread - Sometimes we try to alter who we truly are based on what the world says. People love when you're real. That fake "I have my entire life together" persona is so dead. Just be you and the people meant to be in your life will appreciate it.

5. Comparison is one gateway to depression - I'm so over that comparison game. We've all done it so don't lie, Lol. I may not be exactly where I want to be right now, but I honestly love my life. I have everything I need and I am genuinely happy. Stop comparing yourself to people who are just making breaks, you don't know what those people went through/did to get there. Highlight reels are just that, the highlights. Don't be fooled.

6. People will believe a negative about you before a positive - It's crazy to me that negative commentary spreads quicker than a fire, but the real truth/goodness about someone stings like a bee. Make it make sense.

7. Misery loves company - I hate to be cliche, but this is gospel. Do Not Participate!!

8. Patience is the gateway to a better outcome - We rush the process and end up firecracker hot when it doesn't turn out the way we thought it would. Be patient, you'll thank yourself later.

9. We are not the same - People have to learn that everyone is different. We all think differently, we all come from different backgrounds, etc. Just because someone has a different perspective doesn't mean that the person is wrong.

10. Humbleness is a great teacher - When you start to go upward, don't get on that high-horse. The quicker you go up is the same speed limit for you to get knocked down. Be confident and humble.

11. Ignorance doesn't have a color

12. More money doesn't mean they're smarter

13. Your two biggest fans are God and your Mama - Because who knows what I'd do without either. *Disclaimer - my dad cheers me on as well *inserts smiling emoji*

14. Health truly is wealth - Slow down and take care of yourself. You have one body so take care of it - mentally, physically and spiritually.

15. A grateful heart will always succeed in life

16. Integrity goes a long way - Do the right thing when people aren't looking.

17. When you welcome adversity, you're more likely to not fold under pressure - Bad things are going to happen in your life. It's a matter of when not if. And when those times come, you have to embrace that truth that this is actually happening to you. First step in the healing process is acceptance.

18. Embracing change will help you grow - I struggled with this one in my 20s. Change made me uncomfortable, but I had to learn that being uncomfortable is a great thing!

19. Quality over quantity - More isn't necessarily better.

20. Disappointment is usually the result of unmet expectations

21. Preparation is never time wasted - Have faith and prepare simultaneously. Sometimes we could've been further along if we had simply prepared in advance.

22. Seek the advice of wise people only

23. Enjoy life while you are here - Death too close to home will teach you to put some pep in your step. None of us know when it's our time so take advantage of all the goodness life has to offer.

24. Don't ponder over your mistakes for too long - The past is a lesson not a prison.

25. Everyone won't get you and that's ok

26. No one else can create your happiness for you - You have to work through your own insecurities and embrace your true self before you can be truly happy.

27. The people you start with will not always be the same people you end with

28. Your team really does matter - Build a community of support around you. The higher we go, the harder it is to find genuine people. Make sure your team is solid because you simply can't do life on your own, and that's facts!

29. Stand up for yourself and don't waste your talent - At some point you have to know that you deserve more and take a risk. Stand your ground, even if it's scary and you want to melt to the bottom of the floor.

30. God is Love and Love always wins!

Good Friday - What's the Lesson?

This week I talked to one of my mentors about different life scenarios, happenings, etc. At the end of every conversation, she always ask me, "Vonne, what is the lesson you got out of this?" I think about it and always find myself learning something new.

As I've matured in my thinking and have been adding more notches to my wisdom belt, I do know for certain that there is always a lesson to be learned in every situation, whether good or bad.

So with that being said, with all of this "quarantined time," I truly believe that this is the time for everyone to reflect/hash out certain ares of our lives and to grab the lesson(s). We live in a society that is so hell-bent on the narrative of "being productive, you need to be hustling 24/7, burning the midnight oil, #TeamNoSleep" that it bothers us to actually sit still, both physically and mentally.

I'm not saying sleep every day away, eat everything you want and to go completely rogue. But, what I am saying is to take this time to think through personal things and to organize your thoughts/plans. Sometimes we carry more mental weight than we realize because we're constantly on the go.

I can't speak for everyone else, but for me personally, I'm going to come out of this more whole and healthier, and I don't mean just physical. Everything is going to work out. It might not be how we envisioned, but it will all come together. Small steps each day, and that's perfectly fine.

On that note, with it being Good Friday and such a beautiful day, think about the goodness of life itself, how strong you are and how far you've come as a person. This is just one bump in the road - that's life. And once you can understand that, life will start to become peaceful for you.

What's the lesson you're going to bring out of this?

Sending love and positive vibes your way,

Yvonne Camille

Netflix, Quarantine & Chill

If you’re anything like myself – a high-functioning individual, then this quarantine lifestyle might be taking a mental toll on you as well. Not that this situation is ideal for anyone – because we’ve all been affected in some form – but us high-functioning individuals are really feeling some type of way.

Like many, I have been WFH’ing (Working from Home) and have accepted the new normal of all meetings being held via a Zoom conference call. Although I am grateful to still be working in a career that I love and learning about all things crisis communication – specifically pertaining to the coronavirus – my emotions have been on a rollercoaster.

If you’re stuck between “I need to rest” and “I need to go even harder,” then the following tips will help you in the same way it has helped me to cope over these past few weeks.

1. Still make your daily to-do list – Since you’re out of your normal routine, continue to make your daily to-do list. It can be as simple as adding “Vacuum the front room at 2pm.” This will help to prioritize your thoughts and still add that sense of structure to your day.

2. Make up your bed and open the blinds – Even though I’m not leaving the house, I’m still making my bed every morning. This adds order to your day. And letting in natural sunlight just makes you feel better and brighter.

3. Journal – I love to write so this is easy for me, but something about writing out how you feel pen-to-paper is a forever healing therapy session.

4. Create a daily gratitude list – I used to keep a daily ongoing list of what I was grateful for, but then I stopped. Oh, because you know #LIFE. I started it back up and it makes me feel so much more appreciative even through this crazy pandemic. Negative thoughts will always try to bombard you, but that’s only if you allow it. Focus on gratitude and negativity can’t stay.

5. Declutter your space – There’s nothing like a clean space. If you’re going to be sitting in the house every day all day, make sure it’s a clean and comfortable space that you can enjoy. I’ve been reorganizing certain spaces and throwing away things and I feel lighter as a person. One of my mentors used to always tell me, “A cluttered space is a cluttered mind.” Use this time to declutter your space and welcome in the newness life has to offer. #GetRidOfTheClutter and that includes people too. *insert wink emoji*

6. Move your body – Just because the gyms are closed, it doesn’t mean you can’t still sweat. Be creative with your workouts at home and get your heart rate up. We have too many technology devices to not continue our workouts. Or even take a walk in your neighborhood. It’s good for your overall health and wellness and no one has time for the #Quarantine15. Summer is still upon us friends.

7. Carve out “ME” time – Being a high-functioning individual, I feel that I have to “earn” my rest and that’s completely not true. If you want to sit on the couch and binge watch a Netflix series one day, then that’s completely fine. Just make sure it’s in moderation. I usually use my me time to read a book, color in my adult coloring book or face mask and listen to music, etc. Whatever helps you to relax, incorporate it into your day.

8. Find an accountability partner - Whether it is your bestie, sister, brother, neighbor, roommate, etc. Connect with your one person or tribe who will hold your hand through this storm. This person(s) should ultimately have the same mindset as you and advocate for forward movement. Let’s be honest, every day isn’t going to be ideal, but having your trusted love one to check in makes things a little less stressful.

These are uncertain times for us all, but with a little discipline and grateful hearts, we’ll get through it for sure. I’ll be 30 in a couple of weeks so I can say that I’ve personally been through some rough seasons on my journey, but each and every time God held my hand and guided me through it all.

Lastly, #ShoutOut to all of the medical professionals and other essential front-liners who are making a difference in our world every single day. You all ROCK!

Hang in their friends.

Sending love and positive vibes your way,

Yvonne Camille